My new European workout

So . . .hot on tail the success that I had adopting the Bavarian diet, I have been interested in adopting a more "European" workout routine. After much observation and enthographic study, I think I finally have it. There are a number of Italians at our gym that appear to use the following routine with some success. Not only does it make you fit and trim, but it also appears to result in long lustrous hair.

10- 15 min - Arrive at gym. Have an espresso wait for two friends to arrive. (Obviously, some changes will be necessary as I don't have any friends)

15 min - Change in to workout clothes. While changing into workout clothes, spend as much time as possible naked. Start an argument so that you can make large gestures in the middle of the locker room . . . still naked. Finally, and this, from what I can tell, is absolutely essential, . . . Spend as much time sitting bare-assed on the wooden changing benches as possible. When the time arrives to finally put on clothes, your fashion choices are essential - for my observation subjects, the choices invariable include an Italian National Soccer team Jersey, a shirt of the brand whose logo is the profile of 2 women sitting back to back and one alternating between Gucci, Dior and the Inter Milan jersey. For those of you that are wondering, yes, it is reasonable to keep your 70's era rose-colored slightly mirrored sunglasses on throughout the workout.

Weight lifting gloves go without mention.

15 min - The actual workout. Alternate sets of smith-machine bench press, one lifting while the other two reviews stories of glories past. Be sure to load the bar with as much as 10 KG (on each side!). Do at least 2 sets. While waiting your turn, primp.

10 min - recovery. Stand around the refreshment area rehydrating. This is essential given the strenuous workout or at least the diuretic effects of caffeine consumption. *Kick* legs repeatedly in order to relieve the stiffness cause by . . . um, the smith machine bench press, I guess.

Undetermined amount of time - Shower and dress. Not sure how long this actually lasts as I have never seen them finish. This segment is similar to changing in to the workout clothes. The argument evidently resumes as does the seated nakedness. Be sure to make liberal use of the hair dryer to dry just about anything that you got wet.

My only question is which member of the Azzurre am I; I think I am a Baggio, but I'm just not sure. Tough to say.